1. He acts as a very very stoic and principled general, who is very very uptight. However, despite... or rather, because of that, a gorgeous korean lady falls in love with him, and then subsequently bares her bosoms onto him. Yes. ONTO. Marvel at how the script is ridiculously and unnecessarily twisted beyond recognition to encompass this single teenage fantasy.
2. He somehow lands into a... a villa filled with sexy Indian women doing some sort of yoga, and meets a wise old Indian sage who spouts verse after verse of wise nonesense, and in the process, acquire some fighting ability from a past life, and 'becomes one' with that sword from that past life.
3. In th process of running away from a division or so of policemen, he namages to get involved (well, almost) in a Bollywood-style exotic dance, as well as gaze upon the exposed hooters of a beautiful Bollywood actress. Of course, being the gentleman that he is, he valiantly transferred his shirt to her. Eventually. I mean, why should anyone else be allowed to see it other than him?
4. The general version of him commands a large and elite army of veteran soldiers, who are as fiercely loyal to him as he is to the Emporer. Both parties are willing to die for their superiors, and both do, in an unrealistically glorious manner. Almost made me feel like signing on.
5. Oh, and did I mention about that horse of his which could kick away flaming boulders and dispatch enemy soldiers with kung-fu kicks? That loyal stallion died too.
6. His best friend is an unscrupulous and misguided scientist who is mediocre in ability, whereas he is an uber-talented starlet in the world of archaelogy. The friend betrays him by using his talent to attempt to bcome the greatest scientist in the world. Naturally, he paid for his betrayal, dying a horrible death before the movie ended. Though, not before Jackie graciously forgave him in a show of his magnanimity.
7. The gorgeous Korean lady waits 2000 years chastily for him, even though there's an able-bodied general 'protecting' her all those long lonely years.
8. The show's climax involves the existence of a huge mausoleum suspended in mid-air within a secret, gigantic cavern, explained within the show by the existence of anti-gravity inducing meteorite fragments.
9. At the end of the show, all the baddies die, the good guys and allies are forgotten and the 2000 year old lover is buried forever. At the very end, Jackie is the only one alive, and remains in the centre of his universe, aloof and alone.

The Myth is not so much a movie as it is Jackie Chan's heroic, erotic, chauvinistic and egoistic fantisies all rolled up into a script. Stanley Tong must be a really good scriptwriter. He only took 4 years to arrange all that goey mess into something at least vaguely coherent and somewhat logical. I'd probably take 40, and even then, my script would still be so wrong.

Comments:

Is this a real movie?

# posted by  Anonymous : 6:33 PM

 

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